Tension. Conflict. Imbalance.
All of these words are fun. (not true)
But I can't escape them.
To be the Inspiration...Or the inspired?
This search is enjoyable. (also, not true)
But I love what happens inside of me.
Stories of entrepreneurs, artists, wanderers, creators, and dreamers are stories that I hold onto. I cherish them, I write them down, I live vicariously through them, and I share in admiring their work with others.
All of this to say, jealousy can often creep under my skin, and I am pleasantly reminded of my problem: I am fearful. Afraid of failure, afraid of danger, afraid to appear a fool, afraid to suffer, and afraid to be wrong. I am horrified of that which I cannot conquer. Or more accurately, I am afraid of that which I cannot appear to have conquered.
I am afraid to dance, to take the wrong step, to freeze...locked in foolishness. Afraid to stumble and afraid to trip. People might see that I suck. People I care about. People that I work really hard to impress and formulate a self-concept for them to admire.
May I see those I love as more than competition. May I see those I care about as worthy of more than my jealousy.
May you teach me to dance, to stumble and to one day...take a good step. To advance. To progress. To learn from my mistakes. To take risks. To laugh and live and dance freely. May you all teach me and make me better.
May I be thankful.
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