Rain has an interesting effect on me. It's therapeutic, yet depressing. Or maybe therapy needs to be depressing in order for me to make any progress...
At the very least, rain allows me to be honest.
And when I am honest with myself, I realize that I hate a lot of things:
the tension in my own head
the lack of structure in my mind
the inconsistencies in my actions
and my selfish thoughts that progress into envy, jealousy, and pride.
I hate all of these things. And this hatred only furthers the chaos...
Chaos leads to more hatred. And hatred furthers the chaos.
This chaotic lens which I look through can often distort my view of the good things in life...Ultimately, it leads to my hatred of the good along with the bad.
I see through hatred, which started from my own selfish tendencies. And now I have trouble seeing the good. And for some reason, I have cried out. Why? And to whom? I don't really know...but I have learned to lament...To cry. To search. To Reason. To yearn.
Although cries are not often pleasant, I am convinced that lamenting is good. I am convinced that being heard is necessary for humanity to progress. The earth needs the rain. And i need to cry.
As ridiculous as that may sound...the vicious cycle can only be made beautiful through something else...
PEACE.
I find some peace in my lament and in my cry.
As the earth is made anew through rain...may we be made new through honest reflection and lament. May our tears not be in vain. May our cries be heard.
1 comment:
i still hate the rain, but nice try.
seriously, im glad you started blogging. you are good at it.
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